“1 Kings 19 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
Elijah’s Journey to Horeb
19 Ahab told Jezebel everything that Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. 2 So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “May the gods punish me and do so severely if I don’t make your life like the life of one of them by this time tomorrow!”
3 Then Elijah became afraid[a] and immediately ran for his life. When he came to Beer-Sheba that belonged to Judah, he left his servant there, 4 but he went on a day’s journey into the wilderness. He sat down under a broom tree and prayed that he might die. He said, “I have had enough! Lord, take my life, for I’m no better than my fathers.” 5 Then he lay down and slept under the broom tree.
Suddenly, an angel touched him. The angel told him, “Get up and eat.” 6 Then he looked, and there at his head was a loaf of bread baked over hot stones, and a jug of water. So, he ate and drank and lay down again. 7 Then the angel of the Lord returned for a second time and touched him. He said, “Get up and eat, or the journey will be too much for you.” 8 So he got up, ate, and drank. Then on the strength from that food, he walked 40 days and 40 nights to Horeb, the mountain of God. 9 He entered a cave there and spent the night.”
For the last few years it seems as though I have been running at a pace with God, I have never before. Now mind you, this is a good thing. This has not just been in ministry, but in my personal life as well. Many, many changes, most of them good. Non the less major changes, and some with major ongoing battles.
The last of these events was the publishing and release of my 2nd book. “Women Living with Broken Men a Christian Perspective”. Then all of a sudden, a wave of sadness, near tears, lack of energy, and exhaustion, lack of interest, hit like a ton of bricks. I cannot identify these symptoms with any one event.
Hmm, seems like I experiencing depression! However, I have nothing to be depressed about really, and feel blessed in a number of areas. One of the assessments I got from someone was, ‘must be demonic’. I am not one to blame everything on the devil. But I was open to whatever, to make this ‘go away’. This is not me! I have been feeling that the Lord was wanting me to take June and July off from major ministry events. So far it is middle of June, and just now I am getting the memo.
I also have to admit that at the pace I was running, there was little time for anything, more time with God, etc. When I did have the time, I found that I was too tired to do what I wanted to do, or care to do whatever I needed to.
I began to hear in my spirit, ‘Elijah, at the Brook”, over and over. I went to a Christian meeting last night and there were several comments about Elijah. Also mentioned were the coming release of many Elijahs empowered with more fire than ever. I have felt for a long time the next move of God would be heralded and led by a massive Prophetic Evangelistic presence!
I am also one to when I feel like this, I tend to isolate and hide. My phone almost always rings, and it is for the most part silent. Meetings I normally go to weekly were being cancelled by the leaders that called them. And on and on. God is making Himself known to me by Him clearing my schedule.
I am alone? Sounds like a line in an old secular song. No God is in the silence and whisper, not the noise! I also feel that I have entered a Gethsemane of sorts, like Jesus did. Not even His friends could stay awake to pray with Him. But this is a place of meeting with God, where no man is, or really can help! It’s a ‘one on one’! I once told my older son, there is not a rock we can hide from God!
I confided in some peers and some said they too were having same issue. So, I was reassured it was not only me. I remembered a comment my husband once made. Come apart with Him or you just may come apart! Amen.
I also sense that people that move heavily in the prophetic or called to ‘prophet ‘were the majority, but not exclusive, of those being called into this “interesting” season.
I had already purposed to honker down with God and spend more time in His Word than before. But a light dawned last night. God was impressing on me that is was very necessary to have not only rest, but necessary in order to tackle the next leg of the journey with Him, He wanted to minister to me. He further impressed on me that instead of running from the alone ness, to embrace it. I was not alone, He was there, with His arms open waiting for me. He loves us just because we are, and I had forgotten to just “be”. Can you relate?
As I said, was already carving out time, by cutting out almost 70% of my normal routine. He was “making me” slow down.
We are such a production-oriented society, being a “Mary” is just not part of the plan. God wanted all of me to Himself. So, He knew what He had to do, to slow me down.
The other things that He impressed on me that those that are also in this ‘boat’, will be revisited with new found vision, energy, stamina, manna, focus and fresh fire for the next ‘go around”. That the “Macedonian” calls we had once been directed to, were around the corner. Also, that the POWER and ANOINTING needed for these calls was in the PRESENCE of what looks like to us, ‘a dark night of the soul’ experience.
So, I have purposed in my heart to enjoy this ‘cave time’! Hanging on to the fact that is being blessed and set apart by God Himself., I am excited at the promise, but will purpose to enjoy the cave.
I felt led to share this, because the Lord has showed me, as I said, I am not the only one. That the Lord is orchestrating this time, and that the devil is not oppressing me us. Be encouraged. I am learning to deal with this time in a healthy fashion, and I KNOW, it is NOT forever! Even Jesus came apart for 40days. My focus is on the now, not what happens after. Thanking Him for His Rest and Re Firing! Be encouraged as well, to those having a similar experience!
Caveat: With this New Hebrew New Year, 5780, I hear the Lord saying for those who have been at the brook be ready to be promoted, run, and speak with Fire, that will change lives and regions, like never before. You have been refired by Almighty, for the greatest season of your lives!
Rev. Josephine Marie Ayers